That's a question I ask myself all the time. What are you doing, Lynn? Why do you write a blog or lead a group or write a book? I think about how much I like to be comfortable and take the easy way out. And how none of these things are comfortable or easy. And now the thoughts of becoming a speaker. What am I doing? When I stay in that place of asking too long, I can start to feel overwhelmed or even sorry for myself.
All my life, I have had to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone. I am an introvert. I don't need to be around people to feel good. Seriously, I think I could be happy enough staying home all day watching TV and playing mindless computer games. Oh, wait! I did that for a summer. It was addicting! At the end of each day, I felt guilty that I hadn't accomplished anything, but the next day, I did it again. At that time, I worked two jobs during the school year and only one job in the summer from 5-9am. The rest of my day was free to do as I pleased. So I watched every season of One Tree Hill. What a waste! I vowed the next summer I would not spend all my time watching TV again. And I didn't. That summer now serves as a constant reminder as to why I don't want to be comfortable all the time by only doing what I feel like doing at the time.
The answer to the question, "What am I doing?" is I'm living life to the fullest. I'm refusing to stay comfortable. I tried that, and it wasn't a good thing. Certainly, I still have my days when I fall back, but one day is a lot better than an entire summer or a lifetime of only doing what pleases me in the moment.
Psalm 16:11(NLT) says, "You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever." When I can get past my own selfish desires to letting the presence of God give me joy, then I can easily follow the life He has designed for me. It's incredible how doors open when they need to open, and I didn't do anything to make it happen. But there is also the work He has for me that requires I follow through to get to the blessing or the success He has promised. Obedience is where I truly learn to trust Him.
What about you? What are you doing? Are you living life to the fullest, letting God show you the way of life; letting Him guide you to the things He has for you? Or are you like I was and still am at times, living life your own way? Resisting God's way because it's not comfortable? Leaning on your own understanding instead of His? Refusing to acknowledge Him? You are told to, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6). Is this easy? Not all the time. Sometimes it's downright hard and goes against everything your flesh is wanting to do. But whenever you deny your flesh and choose instead to trust God and live in His presence, you will always find that it's a better place to be. And when you ask yourself what you are doing, you will be able to say with confidence, "I'm living life God's way!"